[personal profile] estrellada
It's so strange, this balancing act between grief about a 2.5 passionate secondary relationship, and the slow and steady unfolding of a sweet, fulfilling, hot primary relationship.

Things with Kay are building towards sharing our lives - I help with househunting for Kay's short-term living situation before we move in together. They come over and let me sleep in while they make coffee and breakfast. They decide to contribute to my breakfast groceries, cuz we mostly sleep at my house. We order meat together, at their suggestion. I am so rusty and lost in the world of trying to have a partnership, I realise that they could be my default date for family events, weddings, well...life in general. My partner.

At the same time, I'm still awash in sadness about leaving Roni. I know I will miss her, which will grow slowly, as we were less and less a part of each other's daily lives. The things that always worked, the dates and eating food and sex and lying around talking about our lives - those I miss already and I'm sure will be more apparent as time goes on.

The topic of the girls, her Tiny Femmes, those kids I love in a way I haven't let myself love kids in a long time, brings tears easier than anything else. I've already had a hard time this year, seeing them so rarely. If anything breaks my heart, it will be permanent separation from them. I try to tell myself that this is really about other things. And it may be. But I consider them part of my family, and I am just letting myself feel that now.
From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Profile

estrellada

December 2012

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23 242526272829
3031     

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 25th, 2017 02:31 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios