Sep. 2nd, 2012

I'm not crossposting this to LJ. The person I just broke up with reads there about twice a year and I don't want them seeing this yet.

I just broke up with R, who I dated for 2.5 years. We've had issues for a while - she's not able to really support me cuz of her previous commitments. She has trouble putting the maintenance work into a relationship where she doesn't see the person regularly. She has very little time for me, and that's gotten less and less.

It sucks. I feel like I haven't had time to process this, what with work being really busy and having lost a tooth last week and being on many rounds of anti-biotics, and being broke and saving up to visit relatives back east and support K during surgery.

We had a D/s relationship. I had a relationship with her kids. I used to spend Christmas morning with her family. She told me she wanted us to never breakup, she actively encouraged me to buy into it.

I can't sustain a relationship tho, where my needs got whittled down to the bare minimum, and I got treated like I was an asshole for having them.

The last 3 weeks, I had a hard time reconciling the stressed out, blamey, ranty communications I was getting with the person I had loved and been loved by for years. It really sucked.

And I ended it. Cuz this is what I do when things get bad. I end them because I'm worth more.

I just hate that I need to learn this over and over.



December 2012

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